Starring

Kim Hee-ae, Han So-hee, Park Hae-joon, Joon Young

Kultured Bear Note to the Supreme Reader: This is my love/hate letter to The World of the Married. I wrote this as I was watching the show so it reads almost like a live review; not entirely episodic, but my reactions sort of parallel the narrative arc. It was, to put it simply, a rollercoaster of emotions, and I got played by the writer (Joo Hyun) and director (Moo Wan-il) like a goddamn fiddle.

A Volcanic Eruption of Words and Emotions

(I have not edited it too much to keep it as close to my original copy as possible like a mosquito embalmed in amber. Consider yourselves lucky to get a sneak peak into the raging tornado that was young Kultured Bear’s mind.)

Diary Entry 1 (OMW to crash & burn)

Ignoring all other shows in my now watching list, I’m blazing right through The World of the Married. Kim Hee-ae as Ji Sun-woo is, in a word, sublime. There’s just something so magnetic about Hee-ae—she brings so much intensity to her characters. She’s one of the few actors I know who can quickly and without fuss (read: least amount of character exposition) pull you straight into the beating heart of the story and her character’s essence and POV. She often plays the unapologetically ambitious, successful yet deeply flawed woman whose life is turned upside down by something or someone and she’ll make sure you know all this in the first few minutes of her being onscreen. And before you realize it, and without quite being able to explain it to anyone, least of all yourself, she’ll have you rooting for her. I guess some credit to the writer, but I dare any other actor to pull off this kind of a role with this much conviction and without polarizing the audience.

It dawned on me quite early in the series that Sun-woo can straight up commit murder in the most gruesome way imaginable and I’ll just stand on a chair and cheer her on. It’s not that Sun-woo is charming or fun or dashes about on the screen or that she is disarmingly impulsive and ingenuous. It’s the opposite. At no point is Sun-woo trying to win my affection. At no point does she or her surroundings move faster or slower than usual. In the first few episodes, whenever Sun-woo comes on screen, she is set against backdrops that are placid, ordered, and quiet, almost still. There’s barely a breeze. She herself is sphinxlike, no emotion is allowed to cross her face without her permission. Even her hair doesn’t dare move much. In spite of it all, then, it’s amazing how she conveys the impression of a volcano on the verge of erupting.

And so she keeps you riveted—focusing every ounce of your attention on the smallest of movements, every sharp intake of breath, every facial tic, every monosyllabic response she has in a dialogue (the 아 that Sua does so well). I love the way the tension builds in her scenes and I love even more that when that tension does find a release, it rarely takes the form Sun-woo screaming her head off. Even during climactic moments, she is true to character, simultaneously intense and quiet—even when she is huddled on the floor in the darkness and sobbing fit to break your heart. Or when she is plowing through her husband and his girlfriend at the latter’s parents’ house (KWEEN) and laying bare their dirty laundry, something she does in the most unnervingly calm and dispassionate manner and with the same business-life efficiency she exudes in her professional/domestic life. How she manages to give off the impression of being completely in control of herself while at the same time being on the brink of insanity I have no idea, but the result is just mesmerizing. Like a cat, she sits back and watches the chaos—entirely of her making—unfold around her. There were any number of other, more convenient ways she could have spilled the beans, more underhanded, less confrontational, maybe an anonymous phone call or note sent from a “good Samaritan”. But that’s not how Sun-woo rolls. She’s the kind who fells in one swoop. She’s the type who not only cuts the knot but burns the string for good measure. She’s the eye of the storm, unfazed and almost looking forward to coming to grips with the consequences of her actions and those of the lesser mortals surrounding Her Royal Competence—channeling some real Dark Phoenix energy.

It’s brilliantly satisfying to watch how after a few half-hearted attempts at being discreet and furtive she gives up trying to act the fool/doing the “right thing” and embraces her dark side in the same quietly efficient way that by now we recognize as being inherent to her nature. While she pauses often to reconsider and reevaluate her decisions and actions, this hesitation doesn’t come from being wishy-washy (that’s Tae-ho’s territory), rather it is owing to the raging conflict of her emotions—an equal measure of love and resentment warring bitterly inside her. Unfortunately for her family, but fortunately for us, a series of betrayals from the people she trusts sharpens her pain and anger till she reaches breaking point. But again, there’s no hysterics or histrionics. Even her descent into darkness (or as I call it, Morphing into Mother) is slow, planned, and deliberate. Because she can’t do anything by half-measures, she has to be certain, for herself more than for anyone else, that she wants to fight before she actually does. And characteristically, (again), when she does decide to take the bull by the horns, she’s determined to do a good job and proceeds to set fire to everything and everyone. Masochistic? You bet. But she ain’t going down alone for sure.

Only Kim Hee-ae can elevate an action as prosaic as sitting quietly in her car or at her desk to something momentous and significant—as though she’s travelled an entire lifetime of emotions in those few seconds. Only the swelling background music, which some viewers found distracting but didn’t bother me as much, and the storm in her eyes belie the turmoil in her heart. Only Hee-ae can elevate what is otherwise the purview of corny afternoon soaps into a moving story of revenge and redemption. Only she can invest her character with so much quiet dignity that even her mistakes seem noble. In a lesser actor’s hands this would have come across as melodramatic or trite, especially when the music becomes operatic, the writer would have had to soften Sun-woo’s very sharp edges to gain the audience’s sympathy. But Hee-ae as Sun-woo wastes exactly zero minutes trying to get brownie points. What she does instead is effortlessly make you believe that she’s on her way to slay dragons. And you are waiting for that glorious moment with widened eyes and bated breath. Morality be damned.

Diary Entry 2 (shaken AND stirred)

So apparently this is a remake of a Suranne Jones series, Doctor Foster. My god, I’m not at all sure I want to watch this now. I may have to watch the original just to compare the interpretations.

(Randomly starting a new thought) And in a genius touch, Sun-woo’s hair post apocalypse is no longer poker-straight and rigid, but is softer, curves naturally to her face and in comparison a little untidy—which shows how she’s finally done for the time-being taking a break from fighting demons and is letting herself relax a little. DETAILS.

Diary Entry 3 (seething at the betrayal)

Aaaaaaaargh—I hate this show now (I got played). Poor Jun-yeong—this drama is actually his tragic childhood story…poor baby. I am on ep 12, four to go. And I think it is intentional, because the story is focused almost entirely on Sun-woo in the first half, you don’t pay a lot attention to what’s happening with Jun-yeong, other than, of course, the fact that he’s sad his parents have to split up, and eventually downright scared they may end up killing each other. It’s not until his problems are magnified and impossible to ignore that you realize with a shock that like Sun-woo, you weren’t paying attention to him. You were too absorbed/invested in Sun-woo’s journey, cheering her on in her quest for revenge, and you didn’t spare a thought of what would be the effect of all this on the kid. Which is exactly why Jun-yeong feels unloved, abandoned, and after accidentally spotting his parents making out (a nightmare even during times of peace), betrayed, possibly nauseous.

They love him, but not enough to swallow their pride and keep the peace for his sake. They break his trust completely, blow by blow. Even though he tries and tries to hold on to whatever sliver of hope he has. Maybe his dad really cares for him, maybe his stepmom does. But nobody ever comes through until the end almost, before his mom finally gets a grip and saves him from his dad. The writing/direction is so good that we fall headfirst into the trap, making the same mistakes as Sun-woo, and don’t realize it until it’s too late that Sun-woo has been making some crappy choices. Like Sun-woo, you ignore the little voice in the back of your head that’s telling you that this fight is probably not worth it, it’s not worth scarring Jun-yeong more than he is already just to get even with Tae-ho and anyone who sides with him. I’m sorry, Jun-yeonga. I love you.

Another thing I realized while watching Ep 15 yesterday—of all the storms that buffet Sun-woo, she doesn’t break from any of them except the most terrible of them all: when she finally realizes the extent of damage her decisions have caused Jun-yeong. All the crap that she gets from the people in her life—Tae-ho, Da-kyung (or her parents), Yerim-Jehyuk—the gossiping snitches of Gosan—Hyun-seo’s abusive boyfriend, her colleagues, her chauvinistic boss, patronizing Dr. Yun-gi—ALL their crap she takes on with barely a blink and basically with an attitude of “let’s have at it”. But her child? Realizing just how much Jun-yeong is going through, and just how badly his feelings have been overlooked, by his own mother no less (who unwisely resents any interference, even from well-meaning people, in Jun-yeong’s life) is what shatters her heart to pieces. Finally the facade of control breaks and Sun-woo knows that in her blind rage, she has destroyed the only relationship that mattered to her.

Also, I got hit by the monster truck that is Dreamcatcher’s parody of The World of the Married and these fools have ruined it forever, effectively killing any idea i had of watching the BBC original… damn them iltsm.

Diary Entry 4 (A lot of tears were shed)

Weel, at least they gave us a satisfying reunion moment (foreshadowing a later reunion that wasn’t satisfactory, but hopeful) with Jun-yeong and his mum—the only bright spot in what’s otherwise a grey sea of despair filled with foolish choices—grown-ups-finding it-harder-to-let-go, I-just-want-to-give-Sun-woo-a-good-shake-but-I-get-it moments.

A reviewer said this show is frustrating and annoying and yes, it’s an agonizing watch as you see your favorite characters make wrong choice after wrong choice every time they are standing at a moral fork—but that’s the intention, so overall it’s just brilliant writing.

Lee Tae-ho is the definitive toxic fuckboi manchild archetype—his character is literally every toxic partner trope compounded in one person. Rarely does he do the right thing, if ever, and usually it’s only to make himself feel better, only when he can no longer tune his conscience out. He doesn’t like any sort of spiritual or emotional discomfort at all, so he backward rationalizes everything he does, including hitting Jun-yeong and expects everyone to forgive him. To be fair, he does mean it when he says he’ll be better. But at no point does he truly reflect on his actions or face up to their consequences squarely. Except, maybe when it comes to his son… but then again he’s so inconsistent, and so laughably insipid especially contrasted with how unsparingly critical Sun-woo is of herself when it comes to her son, whom she loves absolutely and unchangeably. Tae-ho prefers to continue being selfish and indolent and not be held accountable for anything he does—an entitled mega prick if ever there was one. I’m sure a lot of us in the audience found shades of our own toxic exes in Lee Tae-ho.

But Park Hae-joon, brilliant as he is, never lets Tae-ho become a caricature, he makes you almost sympathize with him (gasp). You know you’re supposed to hate him, you know he’s bad for Sun-woo, you know he’s gonna drag her down with him, that he’s gonna put his own pain and discomfort before everyone else’s, you know all of this, but you also GET IT. You know why both his wife and son adore him—he is boyishly charming and sweet when he wants to be, he’s great company, he’s attractive, he’s an intrigant, he makes women swoon. In the show’s own words “he’s a free soul” and as Sun-woo tells Da-kyung in what is probably the best scene in the show, “women like us who are methodical, ambitious, and driven are attracted to men like him who teach us to live a little and we think we can be the making of them”. You get why Sun-woo wishes so much to hurt him but also that he would come back to her, and you get why the betrayal provokes her to resort to a completely out of proportion reaction, her burning desire for revenge (sex)—she can never be indifferent to him, she can only swing between intense hate and intense love, often feeling both at the same time. The only thing that saves her from begging him on his knees is her pride, but for the same reason, she can’t let go either, so she sets out to destroy him, hurting herself and her son in the process.

Jun-yeonga—oh god, that’s the hardest arc to watch… you see this kid falling through the cracks because of other people’s mistakes and your heart literally breaks when he gives that look of pain and bewilderment as he learns about the basest parts of human nature in the worst and cruelest possible way. And he has to grow up in a hurry. Of the three—Sun-woo, Tae-ho, and Jun-yeong—Jun-yeong ends up being the most emotionally sorted; it’s painfully clear to him that his parents’ relationship is toxic and unhealthy and the sooner they both get out of each other’s lives the better. He’s also the first to realize that despite what they claim, his parents are using him as an excuse to get even with each other (that would have hurt the baby so much. He does forgive his mum after she comes flying to his rescue though, good little man <sniffs>).

And although he hopes for reconciliation in the beginning, he soon realizes that that would never work, that they should probably have never been together in the first place, and should never have had him (I’m sobbing freely now). He doesn’t even get to act out for long after his parents’ divorce. He lets off some steam through a few delinquencies, but it’s nothing compared to the shit his parents are pulling. And he’s soon forced to reckon with his petty misdeeds and has to sac up a lot earlier than he strictly needs to, almost on his own—because his dad is busy being a selfish crybaby and his mum is away having a breakdown on the beach. 

Read another great review (the link for which I idiotically didn’t save) and boy was it unsparingly critical of Tae-ho. Also, everyone feels the same way about Jun-yeong—he is the beating heart of the show, not Sun-woo. You’re practically holding your breath and tensing up whenever you think he’s in danger, either physical or emotional. At one point in the later episodes you’re literally trying to will Sun-woo into course correcting before it’s too late. YOUR SON NEEDS YOU, WOMAN! Forget that asshole ex-husband of yours. GET JUN-YEONG OUT OF THAT PLACE NOW! 

It’s hard not to get caught up in the story—full credit to the cast and crew. You kind of get why the characters are so frustrating, they’re making mistakes that we ourselves would make in our lives, it’s painful to watch it unfold before your eyes—like a mirror held up to dysfunctional families everywhere.

It will be interesting to watch how each character picks up the pieces and where they go from this low point? Will they turn around and change for the better, which will be an extremely hard and painful journey but worth taking, or will they sink back into the same unhealthy patterns because it’s the easier choice?

A few more highlights from the penultimate episode:

1. The heart-to-heart Sun-woo and Jun-yeong have in the beginning of the episode where she acknowledges and apologizes for her actions and tells Jun-yeong that he has every right to be angry and to hate her, to take his time to regain his balance and come back to normal, reassuring him that she’ll always be there for him, be right by his side as he gets through these difficult times (too dehydrated to cry atp)
2. The fact that Jun-yeong is legit scared of Tae-ho now and wants to get his mum away from his father as soon as possible. The way he almost panics when Tae-ho barges in, not because he’s afraid of getting hit again, I mean that too, yes, but he’s terrified Tae-ho will manage to sway Sun-woo again and try to weasel his way back into their lives and make more trouble for them. And later when they’re safely out of Tae-ho’s reach and Jun-yeong tells his mum that she should start dating someone again, someone nice, someone worthy of her (stuffs fist in mouth to stifle lusty sobs)
3. After weeks and weeks of living in agony and denial, Da-kyung finally faces up to her worst fears and listens to Sun-woo. She steels herself to cut Tae-ho out of her and her daughter’s lives and then stands by her decision. She has more success than Sun-woo, possibly because her own family is always so supportive of her even when she makes mistakes. Subtext: Divorce is still a luxury/frowned upon in conservative countries/cultures. Not everyone can raise their girls to be confident enough to walk out of a bad situation. It’s not always easy for people, especially women, to get out of a toxic relationship or marriage, case in point—Hyun-seo. (But even she manages to get out. Come on, Sun-woo! Lesgo!)
4. Watching Tae-ho unravel is both satisfying and hard to watch. In the reviews I read, a lot of viewers thought it was unnecessary for Sun-woo to go to such great lengths to split Da-kyung and Tae-ho up, that it was done out of spite, but I disagree. Sure Sun-woo did appear to derive some sadistic pleasure in disillusioning Da-kyung, but reaching out to Da-kyung’s parents and requesting them to get their daughter out of her unhappy marriage was something that would have needed a lot of courage and resolve. Yes, she did it to protect her son, but I think somewhere she also felt she owed Da-kyung the truth. Keeping the truth from Da-kyung might have felt noble at the time, but if she hadn’t Da-kyung would have spent many more years in misery than she needed to. So, Sun-woo giving Da-kyung the 401 on Tae-ho is probably the most generous thing she could have done in that situation. In spite of all the bad blood between them she felt a kinship (after all, they had very similar personalities and married the same asshole) with Da-kyung, and didn’t want her to suffer like she did #womensupportingwomen

In earlier episodes, there are scenes juxtaposing Sun-woo’s and Hyun-seo’s situations which are really very well done.

Subtext: Sun-woo while having no trouble recognizing Hyun-seo’s being in a bad relationship and even encouraging her to leave, loses her objectivity when it comes to her own life.

Diary Entry 5 (Written with the last remaining braincell)

Well what can I say about this conclusion that hasn’t already been said? I couldn’t take the suspense and I read the episode recap to know what happens to Jun-yeong, because I knew from reading the BBC drama’s synopsis the son runs away and never returns and I couldn’t trust Dreamcatcher’s summary, for all I know they could be having us on.

Anyway, the first half of the episode is basically the makers torturing us by showing us a facsimile of a happy ending, but we know, deep in our hearts, it’s a hollow victory. You know in your gut this is basically the writer playing with their food (as in us aka the hapless audience) before swallowing it whole.  There’s a darkness lurking just at the edge of the light, waiting to cast a shadow on the life that Sun-woo and Jun-yeong are trying to piece back together, slowly, excruciatingly. 

The tension never lets up. You’re too wary to even breathe properly, one eye permanently on the runtime, your head a complete mess: “maybe, just maybe…there’s not a lot of time left…can I hope? CAN I FUCKING HOPE THAT MOTHER AND SON WILL GET AWAY, IF NOT WHOLLY UNSCATHED, BUT SOMEWHAT INTACT?”

Sigh. Of course the fuck not. Not even close. Obviously, Tae-oh has to live up to his reputation of being a complete and irredeemable a-hole and pull a dangerous stunt because he can’t fucking take “no” for an answer. One second is all it takes for the world (of the married) to come crashing down in the most toxic, scorched-earth manner possible. Jun-young, justifiably horrified at just how self-destructive his parents are, ups and bolts, taking with him the last remaining shreds of my sanity. Can you imagine being this anxious and worried for a fictional character? Fittingly, we don’t get a neat and satisfying resolution at the end. The very fact that people are divided on whether the ending was real or not proves how ambiguous it was—audiences have one last, eternal trial to endure: a complete lack of closure from one of the greatest k-dramas made (Is this how Scarlet Heart Ryeo fans feel?)

Afterword

Come afterword, I’m still recovering.

It has been a while since I watched this drama, but doing this review reminded me just how much of a wild ride it was (this obviously isn’t a traditional review, so don’t be disappointed if I didn’t mention any of the jaw-drop moments or the mic-drop dialogs from various episodes, which anyway are too many to list).

Present-day Kultured Bear is, for once, bereft of words. However, one thing I will say: they don’t make shows like this anymore. If they do, please let me know, I will grant you a BOON.